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Sorry, this is a bit of a personal / ranting post coming up, and probably not very interesting, however I feel like I don’t really have much inspiration for writing on this here blog at the moment, and thought maybe I just need to get a few things off my chest in order to get started again. I have a bit down in the dumps for the last few weeks, for a variety of reasons (nothing major though) and at the end of the day, this blog is more for myself to document my life rather than for other people so if it’s really going to reflect me, I guess I need to be honest with the bad stuff as well as the fun stuff! So you have been warned!
Ok, so being in my 30’s I am obviously not as young as I used to be. I don’t get ID’d anymore (and I even have a valid ID now that is not my passport!!) My hangovers are not usually gone by 10am and I am starting to think people in their 40’s appear to be around the same age as me (that is very concerning by the way!)
Clearly, I am now classed as what we call an “adult”
Problem is I suck at it! I am a terrible adult! Here’s a few reasons why;
I am not very disciplined. I know what is best for me and yet I don’t seem to manage to stick to it. Today I had a cookie for breakfast, and I haven’t eaten a single bit of vegetable over the weekend. Unless chips counts as a vegetable. Go me!
I am terrible at saving and budgeting and I am actually scared of my bank statement. It doesn’t help that I do not get them in paper form anymore, every month I sit with heart palpitations manning myself up to check my balance online! And every month it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it would be and I tell myself not to do the same thing next month. I never listen!
At the same time I am a terrible impulse buyer. Yes I should be saving up for that mortgage or what not, but look at this yarn / book / cardigan etc.! I also now have a massive stash of yarn that I need to work my way through because of this.
My flat is in a constant mess. I hate tidying; I am not very good at it. I wish I was a bit more OCD, with things so I could keep the flat tidy all the time, because I really get depressed living in a messy place. It probably doesn’t help that it’s not my flat so I don’t really take much interest in keeping it tidy, and I can’t decorate it the way I want. It is also very cluttered with stuff. I feel that there is a connection between my clutters / impulse buying / lack of ability to save money.
Mortgage. I don’t have one, and I have some friends and family that are constantly bartering me as to whether we are thinking of buying yet and “you are saving at least £200 a month right” aaaaaargh… lay off! Yes I am saving and no maybe not £200 a month because honestly some months that is just not feasible and living in the second most expensive city in the UK where the rental prices I pay for a tiny one bedroom flat could get me a 3 bedroom house in other parts in the country, but yes I am saving (and how is it your business how much money I save by the way??)
Thankfully not all my friends are like this, but it is grinding my gears somewhat. Especially when the flat we live in is definitely not my favourite place to be! I have looked at options such as moving to bigger flats in the meantime, but that would mean paying up to £400 more per month and so that is £400 that could go into savings. It’s an endless vicious circle. And some people need to start minding their own business (and I need to stop worrying about it)
Gardening – we have a garden, and it looks like a rubbish tip. (Actually it’s not that bad) Every year I think this is the year where I will be all homely and get a lovely outdoor place with fairy lights and lanterns where I can sip my tea and do my knitting in the late hours, but then the sun is blocked out by 5pm, and we are always out somewhere else in the summer, and before you know it it’s November and the garden furniture has been taken in after being used maybe once. I think we actually cut the grass once this summer. That was it!
Keeping on top of things – Far too often the kitchen bench is littered with dishes from days before, and I am pretty sure I know the answer to the age old question of “where do all the matching socks go” Well they would be lying at the bottom of my washing basket which I never seem to reach. My problem is that when I get back from work it is far too easy to just sit down in front of Netflix instead of actually doing any housework.
So these are all things that I obviously need to work on, and I am, and it does get better, however the problem is it is going very slowly! When I set my mind to things I would like things to change instantly! I know it doesn’t work that way though..
I think I may potentially be having a slight mid-life crisis / freak-out because all of the above are things that grown-ups should be very good at right? And I don’t tick any of the boxes, and I am starting to wonder if I ever will to be honest!
Oh well, sorry for the rant / very badly written post, I guess I just needed to get that off my chest a bit. At least some of it, I could have gone on and on about several other things like driving license, having kids, etc. But frankly, I just don’t want to go there right now!